We all have different ways to keep our mind, body, and soul in balance, but what can you do when you have troubles regulating your own emotions to a point where you are completely not centered? In this, the second episode of two on Camille's life with Borderline Personality Disorder, she explains her path toward health, being centered, and becoming her own master of mindfulness.
Camille: I went to a program called the Center for Intensive Personality Disorders where I did a workshop, a 6-month long workshop, on how to deal with really strong emotions and what to do to make sure your life is in order enough that you have positive experiences that make you feel good. To keep you out of isolation, to keep you involved in the community. To keep you feeling good about yourself, and working on whatever level of mastery you need to be working on. In your art, or your area of expertise. I think what I learned about my struggles with my mental health disorder is that I can give myself positive experiences and I can soothe myself. Like I'm here in this park now, because I wanted to feel the grass beneath my feet, have a hunk of Gorgonzola and a piece of nutty bread to sort of make myself feel better, and that was something I had to learn. I grew up in a dark box, and I didn't know you could just go outside and be in the sun, lay in the grass, and that would make you feel better, and this is something that I've learned. Nothing has helped me more than approaching the teachings of mindfulness, and the fact that you are you're own master. So if you need to follow a path of health that includes medication, that's your path, but don't struggle too hard against it. Just let it be what it is. I take medication because I know I need it in order to be balanced and not highly reactive, but I don't like that I take medications. So my aim is to be on less medication as time goes on. What I discovered is that I need to be on more, and that's a hard truth for me to accept, but being present and feeling still, and centered in myself, is more important. So whatever I need to do to get to that, those are the tools that I need to be using.
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