Sex addiction has long be viewed as a fake affliction, or even laughable in some circles. Others feel that is does not exist and that it's just an excuse for guys to "have fun." Meet Jeffrey, a gay sex addict from New York City. In this remarkable first episode of two, he discusses how he came to be a sex addict, and how it affected his life.
Hello, my name is Jeffrey, I'm 37. I come from a family where there are many different addicts of many different stripes, alcoholics. I know that I picked up something, and instead of picking up alcohol I picked up sex. Some people choose cigarettes, some choose substances of other kinds, gambling, it can be anything. I started this because I was a lonely child, and again had maybe a family history of these things, and it started with pornography. I remember being at about age 5 or 6, when other kids are out playing in the backyard, I was locked in my room drawing porn, scripting porn. I'm not sure how I discovered this, a lot of my childhood is blacked out, maybe there was something sexual going on when I really young, younger that that, but I don't know. It doesn't matter, what I'm left with is a long history of pushing people away. All throughout my school, choosing pornography, choosing masturbation, choosing sex from random people at rest areas, parks, bathrooms. I was having sex at the age of 13 with men in their 30's and 40's. I kept getting STDs throughout college, the simple ones and ones that are more complex. It doesn't really matter all those details. Why I identify as a sex addict, and why it's not just a guy having fun, is that the unimaginable events started occurring; getting STD after STD, losing a lot of friendships, not having many friendships, the desperate loneliness. All these things happen, and a normal person would take a breather and say something's wrong, I need to ask for help. But if it's an addiction, it's what you use to soothe yourself, and it's also the thing that causes you damage. As I was getting sicker and sicker, the only thing I could think of to do was to have more sex.